Content on this site is customized for a(n) freshman student enrolling for the fall 2008 term.
Stages of a College Student Life
- Move in day, saying Goodbye: Most students at UNL moves into campus in a residence hall or a Greek House. As a parent not only do you physically move their possessions, you have an important role to convey support and love for your student as well. It is a time to meet the roommate and maybe the roommate's parents. It is an exciting time filled with optimism. Some student will feel a real hesitancy to leave friends and family and being positive about the new challenges is the best way to fight homesickness.
- The First Weeks: A Roller Coaster of Emotions for Students and Parents- Many student's' face new freedoms and new responsibilities. Students must take care of their own laundry, exercise financial responsibility, whether or not they will attend class, how they will manage their time, campus activities they want to get involved with, and making new friends. Offer a listening ear to your child. Don't take over his/her responsibilities (call her professors or roommate, do his laundry or homework). Allow the student to exercise responsibility, but be there as a system of support.
- Mid-Terms, Academic Advising and Registration: Students experience increased stress during the first set of college exams. Some students may not do as well as they had hoped, while others may gain new confidence after they perform well on their first exams. As a parent, you can continue to encourage your student and again, be a listening ear as they vent frustrations. Remind your student of campus services that are offered and avoid lecturing the student. Many students have not declared a major or have decided to change their major within the first semester of college. This is completely normal and part of the college and career exploration process. Encourage your student to visit Career Services so that career counselors can assist your student in choosing a major and future career. Academic Advisers help students select courses for the following semester. They are knowledgeable of University requirements and prepare students for academic success. Encourage your student to meet with his/her adviser in order to develop an academic plan for success.
- Late-Term Anxieties: Stress Overload Final exams are a time when many students feel overwhelmed. College course work is much more demanding and many students procrastinate and/or underestimate the amount of time necessary in order to perform well on final exams and projects. Roommate stresses, failing high school relationships, and/or lack of exercise and/or sleep may be additional stressors and leave your child feeling worn down. If your child is irritable when talking to you, or does not have time to communicate, do not take it personally. This is a stressful time in your child's life!
- The Come-Apart Moment:
Many first-year students have a melt-down moment when college seems too difficult, confusing, and overwhelming. This is a common experience among first-year students and usually lasts for a short period of time. Lastly, parents are usually the first people students call during their breakdown, so be prepared!
What can you do to be ready for this?
Remember that sometimes stress speaks louder than reality. If your student calls you crying, frustrated, and ready to give up, don't panic! Again, listen to your student's concerns, ask them questions to help them figure out a solution, and encourage them to persevere. Do not offer to solve the problems for them. In developing autonomy, students need to work out these predicaments on their own. As a parent, it is your role to support your student. - Home for the Holidays: Most students are excited to go home for an extended break. They are excited to sleep in their own room, eat home-cooked food, and to relax and spend time with old friends. It is important that both parents and students communicate their expectations for the visit. If both parties know what the other's expectations are and are willing to compromise, it can make the vacation more enjoyable for everyone.
- A New Term, a New Beginning:
Before the new semester begins, parents should sit down with their students and evaluate the successes and disappointments (if any) of the previous term. Identify methods to have a successful second semester and compliment your student on the amazing things they have already accomplished.
At the beginning of second semester, students are typically more comfortable with the college atmosphere and have started to learn the swing of things. However, second term presents many interesting challenges:
Discovering their niche: While many students have developed a solid friend base and have gotten involved in organizations, some students may still be searching for their place at UNL. College is a time of changing values, new people, and a world full of new opportunities. Encourage your student to go to Student Involvement, respond to those fliers in the residence halls, and do whatever they can to get involved. Involvement is crucial in order to meet new people on campus, build your resume, and develop life skills that typically aren't learned in the classroom.
Pressure to select a major: Many students have either not yet declared a major, or after a semester of classes are wondering whether their selected major is right for them. Encourage your student to go to Career Services in the Union, or to meet with an academic adviser. These resources will greatly help your student in selecting a major for their future career.
Living arrangements for next year: Unless your child lives at home, all freshmen live on campus during their freshman year. At the beginning of second semester, students need to start pondering where they want to live the following year. Students are able to stay in the residence halls another year, move into one of UNL's apartment style living facilities, and/or rent a house, duplex, or apartment off campus. Waiting until the last minute to make this crucial decision could cause a lot of unneeded stress.
School is out, let summer begin: As the school year ends, parents and students face another transition, especially if the student moves back home. Students have several options to choose from when deciding how to utilize their summer. Will they attend classes to lessen their fall course load? Will they get a job/internship to save up money for next year and gain work experience? Or, will they leave the country and study abroad? Have your student prioritize things they want to accomplish throughout their four years of college. Also, help them work out a budget for expected expenses. This will help your student determine how he/she wants to spend the summer. It's never too early to start planning for the future!
Information based on Chapter V: The Academic Year in Empowering Parents of First-Year College Students: A Guide for Success.
Megan CollinsOmaha, NE
Business Administration/Pre-Law
